Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So. Much. Porn.
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