it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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