1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I would fuck him just for his dog
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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