we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
