So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
