i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The beer is more important than you right now.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
