Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
