Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
