Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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