Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
