so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
