no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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