I murdered the dance floor call the cops
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
