where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
