Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
