All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
