It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
