Whod you bang
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
