ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
