please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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