So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
