weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
