I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
