Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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