Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
