Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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