Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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