i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So much rum. So many feels.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
