also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
