haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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