More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
