Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
