so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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