i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Why is your signature on my underwear?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize