Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
