Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
