I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
