If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
