K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
