Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
