You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so let's talk penis.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize