her vagine was all disorganized.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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