why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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