Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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