So drunk, too bad you don't want this
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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