This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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