Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
