It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We left the knife in your bed.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
