My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
