Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
