I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
two words: eviction party
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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