He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I miss vodka workout Fridays
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
