just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
