So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Randomize