You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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