My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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