just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
