I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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