I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
